What We Feel
by mixtapes
Summary: [oneshot] 'They said I didn't deserve you. They said we would never last. And you know what? I think they're right.' Just like always, Troy Bolton is at Gabriella Montez's locker before she is. But this time, she isn't smiling. TG


"They said I didn't deserve you. They said we would never last. And you know what? I think they're right." Just like always, Troy Bolton is at Gabriella Montez's locker before she is. But this time, she isn't smiling. TG

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_what we feel_

-

-

_Troy Bolton taps his foot to the rhythm of a song that floats around campus like a drug: _we're breakin' free_, he sings in his head, and the thought that he, out of all people, is doing this makes him want to fall out of his chair and roll around laughing. But he can't help it, he can't forget anything: not the way the enthusiastic audience cheered, not the way Gabriella looked, and certainly not the way he felt, singing and dancing on that brightly lit stage. The feeling courses through him, and he can't think about anything else. _

_He cringes as he realizes how corny he sounds. _

_The bell rings from overhead, and his math teacher grumbles that they have homework due the next day – of course, no one actually hears him as they stampede their way through the door, Troy among them, though he doesn't really hear the cheers filling the hallways of East High School; he only hears the melodious tune of _we're breaking free_ as he hurries down the hallway, eager to see – in his opinion – the prettiest girl in school. _

_Troy runs past his own locker and heads for the very end of the hallway, where Gabriella is already pondering what books she'll need to complete her homework. He steps toward her and leans on the locker beside hers in one smooth motion, putting on his best grin. "Hey," he says, feigning nonchalance. "How was your weekend?" _

_Gabriella Montez looks up at him and giggles, "It was great. How was yours?" She glances once more at the neatly organized books in her locker before pulling a heavy black one out. "I think I'll need this one," she murmurs to herself as an afterthought, sliding it into her bag. _

"_Awesome. I'm on a high," he tells her earnestly. "I can't believe we pulled off all that, you know?" Gabriella agrees, and he continues, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it." _

"_Me neither," she says with a smile. "But I'm so glad I came here, I'll tell you that. It's just...this is the first school where I've felt like I belonged. I'm not just a freaky math girl here, and it feels so good!" She laughs, "All I've ever wanted, for the longest time, was to just be Gabriella. And now I can be." _

_Troy just stares at her for a few moments, trying to grasp some sanity. He's never felt this way – is it how she looks right now, in the midst of the most beautiful laugh he's ever heard? Is it what she's saying, that all she's ever wanted is the same as all he's ever wanted? To just be himself, to just be admired for being himself? He doesn't know, all he knows is that he's leaning closer to her, until his mouth is at her ear. He hears her breath catch, and he whispers huskily, "Rooftop?" _

_And his heart beats erratically when she whispers, "I've got time." He takes her hand and Gabriella giggles again, and all he can think about is how much he loves everything about her: her sweet laugh, her beautiful singing voice, how she manages to make him smile no matter how bad the day gets – he loves everything – he loves Gabriella. They're at the rooftop before he has managed to gather his scattered thoughts, and she looks up at him expectantly with those brown eyes that he can stare into for hours – and suddenly, the speech that he has worked on for the entire weekend disappears from his mind, and he can't find any words for a minute._

"_I really want to kiss you right now," Troy finally blurts out, but before he can even start thinking about how to phrase how much he likes her in better words, Gabriella Montez has covered his mouth with her own and is kissing him passionately. Her arms wind their way around his neck as she pulls him closer, kissing him the way she's always dreamed of kissing him. Troy puts his hands on her waist, and right before he really gets lost in the kiss, his last somewhat coherent but utterly blissful thought is: _no one kisses like Gabriella Montez

--

Just like always, Troy Bolton was at Gabriella Montez's locker before she was.

His signature grin lit up his face when she came into view, but after only a few seconds it disappeared completely. Today, Gabriella wasn't the perfect smiling vision of pure radiance and vivacity. She managed a faint smile in his general direction, but he didn't fail to notice that she wouldn't meet his eyes as she opened her locker and pulled out the correct books.

"Hey, cheer up! It's Friday, and school's out for the weekend! Let's see that pretty smile." He teased lightheartedly, but for the first time, it didn't work. "What's wrong? You seem so upset."

"I'm okay," she tried to assured him, but he knew her too well to believe her.

"You can tell me anything," he said earnestly, "and you know that right? I'm going to be here for you no matter what." Troy was worried. Gabriella was one of the nicest and most cheerful people he knew. She always had a bright smile on her face, and she was always ready to bring a smile to everyone else's faces. He remembered when Darbus became more demanding than ever during the grueling rehearsals for _Twinkle Town_, and Gabriella was the one who encouraged everybody to keep working and keep smiling. It felt strange to see her disheartened and unhappy, kind of like hearing Sharpay saying she hated performing.

She shook her head sadly and shut her locker, her expression still downcast. "It's not important." The words came out faint, as a broken whisper, and she directed her gaze at her closed locker, away from him, where he couldn't even attempt to read her russet eyes.

"It's definitely important if it's making you feel so sad," Troy contradicted softly, tilting her head up so that he could look at her clearly. "Please Gabriella, maybe I can help." He wanted to see her smile again more than anything. Now, looking at her sad features, it seemed more important than anything else – the world couldn't be right if Gabriella Montez wasn't her normal, smiling self.

She sighed resignedly. "It happened during choir." After starring in the winter musical, Gabriella had been persuaded by Ms. Darbus to join East High's advanced choir. She'd grown to love the class; she always had an interesting story to tell Troy when she next saw him. "I had to go the bathroom, and while I was still in the stall, a bunch of cheerleaders came in. They started saying some mean things." Gabriella's auburn eyes sparkled with tears and she found herself looking away from Troy's penetrating gaze again. "I know it shouldn't matter, that it shouldn't mean anything to me. It shouldn't bother me and it's my fault if I let it affect me. But ...the things that they were saying just hurt so badly. I can handle the comments about my studious habits or good grades, but they hit me where it hurt. They hit me where I'm most insecure." She couldn't stop a tear from sliding down her cheek as she uttered this, and Troy's heart ached for her.

"What did they say?" Troy murmured, pulling her close to him and engulfing in a hug. "What did those idiots tell you?"

"They said a lot of things. First they poked fun and made fun of how I study so much, and how I rarely receive a grade lower than a B." Her voice quivered delicately, and Troy gave her a comforting squeeze. "And then they got even nastier. They were talking about us, and how you were only dating me for a challenge, because I was the freaky math girl who had never been kissed. They said that the basketball team was holding a competition – who can get the prudish freaky math girl in bed first? And then they talked about Taylor and Chad breaking up. They think we're going the same way." Gabriella's voice broke on the last word, and then she let out a small, heartbroken sob as she cried into Troy's shirt.

"You know that it's not true," Troy said immediately, his face hardening as he inwardly cursed those stupid girls who had hurt Gabriella's feelings. "You know they're just really jealous of you and that they don't even know what the hell they're talking about. They're jealous of what we have. They want it too. That's the reason Gabriella. Everyone wants this, what we have. They want to feel the way we feel. They want to be happy."

"But how do you know?" Gabriella whispered sadly. "We thought Taylor and Chad –"

"We're not Taylor and Chad, Gabi," Troy reminded her gently. "Not everyone is as lucky as we are. We've got the real thing. People would kill to have this...I know it's hard, but we've got to keep our heads up and not let them get to us."

"That's not all they said, though. They said I didn't deserve you. They said you were too good for me. They said you could never truly like someone like me. They said we would never last. And you know what?" Gabriella's breath caught in her throat as she whispered, "I think they're right."

The tables had turned, and Troy found himself speechless for the first time as he stared at Gabriella uncomprehendingly. Was she lying? Was she just telling him this to lighten their breakup? Was she even breaking up with him? Had she been planning it all along? His head was spinning and he felt lost, like he was stuck in an ocean with no shore, on a road with no end. "What?" It came out weak, and he winced. "Gabriella how can you believe them?" But deep down inside, a small part of him wondered if that was the real reason – part of him wondered if she had just lost interest.

"I just..." She let her voice trail off. "I'm scared, Troy," she admitted softly. "We don't know how long our relationship will last now. But what if you decide later that you've lost interest? What if you decide you would prefer some cheerleader, or just someone better than me? It wouldn't be your fault – but it would still break my heart. I've always wanted a boyfriend, Troy. But I'm afraid of getting hurt. I wasn't ready when you asked me out. But I liked you too much to throw away the chance. Troy, what happens when I can't make you happy any more? If I won't put out? If you realize I'm too boring for you? I know that half of what those girls said was just the result of bitterness or whatever. But it just got me thinking...nothing gold can stay, right?" Her eyes pleaded with him to understand – or to convince her that they would get their happy ever after, maybe – he didn't really know. But he did know that what he felt for her went beyond the immature or impractical feelings that guys his age normally got.

They were real, no matter what anyone said. Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn't, not yet – but it would grow into true love. Troy was positive about that. If only she could see it.

"They don't understand us, Troy," she muttered, pulling away from him slowly and taking his hand. "And maybe there's a valid reason."

"But I understand, and you understand. Isn't that enough?"

She smiled sadly. "I wish it was. But sometimes Troy...sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Sometimes we need to let go, even if it will hurt us at first. Sometimes we have to move on. I always thought it was too good to be true. The school's favorite jock, and the freaky brainiac no one cared about...it just didn't make sense. It's who we are, and we can't change that." Gabriella didn't even bother to hide her tears anymore – they cascaded down her cheeks delicately as she met Troy's eyes again.

"But we don't have to prove anything to anyone but ourselves, Gabriella! As long as we're cool, as long as _we_ know we're the real thing, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks. You're so nice that you try to please everybody, you try to make yourself become what others want you to be. But you don't need to do that. Because you're making yourself unhappy in the process." Troy shook his head, his cerulean eyes boring to hers. "Don't you see Gabriella? What we feel isn't a crime. We're just a boy and a girl who are giving in to their emotions for once in their life. We're just two people who are listening to our hearts, we're not doing anything wrong. We're just not denying what we feel, we're embracing it. And I can't speak for you, but I know that I've never been happier since I started something new that night with you."

He saw something in Gabriella break at the moment. He knew she was torn – torn between doing what she always did and taking a chance that could either make or break her. She bit her lip, slowly pondering his words. That was one of the best things about Gabriella. She was so open minded that she always considered what other people had to say. She never ruled something out immediately without reflecting on it first.

"Troy," she said in a small voice, and it was the most vulnerable state Troy had ever seen her in. "Troy, I can't do it."

"Yes you can," he whispered. "You did it that day at the callbacks for the musical, you did it during opening night, you did it when you agreed to go out with me, and you can do it again. I know that better than anyone, Gabriella. You can do whatever you want to do, if you put your mind and heart into it."

"But I've got so much more to lose this time...and I'm scared of falling."

"Are you?" Troy took both of her hands in his and squeezed them gently, looking into her eyes. "Or are you scared of flying?"

"Both," Gabriella whispered. "I'm scared of wanting, of lusting, of loving. I'm scared of it all. But I still want it – all of it."

"Do you want it...with _me_?" And in the end, it all boiled down to that one question. Did she want him enough to risk everything? Did she want him enough to knock down those carefully built walls that she had put up for herself so long ago?

"Yes." And for the first time since that bell signaling the start of the weekend rang, she sounded strong. She sounded confident, like the girl that he loved, like the girl who knew what she wanted and did everything in her power to get it. "You're the only one who has always let me be Gabriella – you're the only one who has always _wanted_ me to just be Gabriella. And," she hesitated for a fraction of a second, and then she continued, her voice strong, "I couldn't love you more for that."

Troy released her hands and tenderly tilted her head up. "I love you too," he said simply, though his tone rang with authenticity. "More than you could ever imagine." And he kissed her so passionately that another doubt would never cross her mind. She would know that what they felt was exceptional and undeniable and true – and he knew, too.

It was a love that had fireworks flying whenever they were together. That was one thing that would never change.

--

_Well, I've made up my mind that I want you to be the one,  
The one I wanna be with when I'm ninety-two._

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**Note**: Well, there it is! I'm pretty proud of this oneshot. (: I managed to incorporate a little TG get-together in this too. I had to rewrite some of the second part though, and make it less corny. I wanted this story to have elements of fluff, but I also wanted it to be very realistic and serious – something that most teens go through and can relate it to.

I just wanted to thank you all for the nice reviews on WYD and my other oneshots. Hearing your nice compliments makes my day. The more encouragement I get, the more often I write and update. So please make me happy and review?


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